The meaning behind the name:
According to Philippine mythology, there once lived a tribal princess named Princess Urduja. She was a warrior who fought amongst men.
And not only was she strong, she was also very beautiful. So beautiful that in order to choose one suitor from the many, she decided that the only man who was worthy of her was a man who could defeat her in battle.
She wanted a man who was strong enough for her, who could uphold her.
However, there was no man who could match her skills and strength, and died unmarried but independent.
I feel her story encompasses my struggles as a woman in a man's world. As well as the fact that my name is in her name: Urduja
I’m learning a lot of things about living on my own. I know, it’s only been two weeks but I feel so much has happened since my big move.
First off, I’m learning I took a lot of things for granted back home.
Thinking back, I laugh at how I used to think I was “Miss Independent.” When really, I think I’m only experiencing real independence now.
I went and bought my first American car – a white 2000 Dodge Neon. Without anyone’s help or guidance. I was the one who scoured Craigslist for it, and then met up with the guy. I had to make sure everything was legit: smog certificate, brakes, engine, lights and pink slip. My mom wasn’t with me anymore, so it was up to me to try to bargain the price down a few hundred bucks.
And I was really nervous. I didn’t know if I was making the right choice, or if I could get away with it. I was sure the guy would figure me out and blow my cover and yell, “You’re just a kid!”
But I’m so thankful to God that He saw me through the whole ordeal because I wasn’t very confident in what I was doing.
Another thing I’m learning about living out here on my own is BUDGETING.
I’m in charge of everything now. I have full responsibility of my survival. And that’s the biggest thing about living in a new city, in a different country, without any family or childhood friends – I need to survive.
I’m starting to cultivate a new skill in my journey of survival and it’s called “couponing.” Yeah you can go to the dollar store for something that’s only a dollar. But if there’s an opportunity to buy the same thing for 20 cents less, then I gotta go that route cuz the numbers add up and every penny counts. Especially when I have to worry about monthly rent, insurance, gas, bridge tolls as well as groceries.
I’m kinda grateful I haven’t made a lot of friends here. Less likely for me to go out and spend money.
But forreal, I barely have any friends haha.
It gets pretty lonely when I’m at home alone. I end up going to bed at 7 or 8pm cuz there’s nothing for me to do.
I hope the loneliness will get better soon with the start of my new job. Hopefully it’ll exhaust me enough during the day that I wouldn’t notice going to bed at 7 or 8pm.
I wish I brought my paints with me.
Actually no… I wish I brought my loved ones with me.
I appreciate it when history repeats itself. Because I know what to do this time around.
And this time around, I’m choosing to walk away.